every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
