What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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