I wish life had little blips of pornography
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
