So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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