Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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