I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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