so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
