shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
