So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
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And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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