So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
