when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize