my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can I color on your dick again?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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