She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
