last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Still dying that you shit outside
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
