My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
