We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
