do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
