wat bout pragnant strippers??
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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