You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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