i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
