they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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