we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
