i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
