if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize