So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
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There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
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So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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