wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
