Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize