Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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