can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize