We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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