Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
