Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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