Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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