i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
