I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
