Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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