Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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