A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize