I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
