In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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