you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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