dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
