Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
