I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
tell me about the eggs
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