mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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