Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
