I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
