this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize