Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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