Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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