Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
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you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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