i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
