playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
