he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So vagazzling was a success
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
