So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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