You're my little dorito
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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