Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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