Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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