Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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