If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
