I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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