Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
