Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
