My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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