handjob tips. give me some.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
