I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
