ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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