I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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