Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
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Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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