his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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